B is for Bisexual

B

 

Bisexuality puts the ‘B’ in LGBT+ This gender identity means the person is attracted to both men and women. This is the sexual identity I ‘get’ the most since I firmly believe that love transcends gender and that our affections shouldn’t be restricted or defined by gender. Sadly, bisexuals get a lot of flack in the LGBT community. 

Bisexual men in particular are often maligned within the very community that fights against homophobia and bigotry. It seems the general opinion is that bisexual men are really just gay men who can’t admit it and cling to the heteronormative by also liking girls, or at least saying they like also girls. This infuriates me, especially when these sorts of comments are directed at bi men from gay men.

Bisexual girls tend to be seen in a different light. The general assumption is that all women have the propensity for bisexuality or will at least be bi-curious sometime in their life. Women who identify as bisexual, however, are often seen as nothing more then potential threesome partners to fulfill straight male fantasies. Another common attitude towards bisexual women comes from the lesbian community where a true lesbian wouldn’t want to be with a bisexual woman because of the bisexual woman’s interest in and possible previous relationships with men. Even some bisexual women don’t want to date other bisexual women because of the man factor. This stymies me and I honestly don’t understand all the bigotry within the LGBT community aimed at bisexuals.

bisexual

Bisexuality is nothing new and can be found in both ancient Greek and Roman cultures, as well as in Viking culture and pre-Christian Celtic culture. Some Native American tribes even revered bisexuals as being closer to the divine by embracing both the Masculine and Feminine. Today, while bisexuality might be looked down upon in certain circles, more and more people are coming out and embracing this sexual identity. Famous bisexuals include:

Lord Byron, Daphne du Maurier, Bret Easton Ellis, Billie Joe Armstrong, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Tom Daley, Amanda Palmer, Lou Reed, Evan Rachel Wood, Megan Fox, David Bowie… the list goes on!

Personally, I love writing bi characters. The male protagonist in my book Obscura Burning is bisexual and is involved in a love triangle with a boy and a girl. This brought a unique dynamic to the story, moving away from the traditional love triangle, allowing for a greater exploration of identity including but not limited to gender identity.

In my book I Heart Robot, due for release in January from Month9Books, a couple of the characters have bisexual tendencies. I can’t say too much more about it, suffice it to say I don’t think androids would have the same outlook on gender and sexuality as humans.

Some other books I’ve read that had fantastic bisexual characters are Coda by Emma Trevayne and The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson. I can’t recommend these books enough especially if you’re into dystopian sci-fi.

What are your thoughts on bisexuality?

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  • As a bisexual, I couldn’t agree with your post more. Frida Kahlo (who was also a bisexual) was my hero growing up, because she was completely unabashed about it, even in a traditional Mexican relationship… when I read her biography, I was 14 or so, and thought, “Hey… this really describes a lot of my own feelings. I didn’t even know this existed.” and it really calmed me, and helped me be okay with who I was.

    I think, as far as bigotry goes, people get very defensive over their communities, even to the point of rejecting those they could and should call friend. I think, as you said, ‘bisexuals’ straddle the line a little too fluidly for most people, sort of like independent voters. 😛

    Alex Hurst, fantasy author in Japan. “B is for Books” is my current post.

    • Oh Frida, yes! Another great artist who embraced who she was.

      Ha! Indeed! Still, I’d like to see LGBT communities being more inclusive across the gender spectrum.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting 🙂

  • Cathy Pegau

    Excellent post that says a lot of the things I think about. I get the feeling some folks feel there is an unfair advantage to being bi? I don’t know what that would be, really. Twice the opportunity to date? Twice the fun? Is the “competition” that tough?

    • Yeah, I’ve also heard that kind of joke about bisexuals ‘doubling their chances on a Saturday night.’ Not sure if I should find that insulting or not, but it seems there is a certain impression about bisexuals and it’s not always flattering.

      • Cathy Pegau

        Like we can’t commit or something? Um, not true, just like any other stereotype and misconception.

        • Or somehow bisexuals are more promiscuous because they’re into men and women. Major misconception!

  • Larry Benjamin

    I’m gay. That’s the identity I claim because it’s my truth. My feeling is people should get to label themselves however they want. I don’t live another’s truth, therefore I cannot speak another’s truth. I think bisexuality should only be an issue for those directly involved, i.e. the bisexual and his/her partner. If someone wants to avoid involvement with a bisexual for whatever reason, that is that person’s choice. And certainly as valid for that individual as the bisexual’s sexual identity is to him/her

    • It’s absolutely that person’s choice and that’s all well and good except when there are double standards involved, such as a bisexual not wanting to be involved with another bisexual because of the opposite gender attraction when that individual experiences that same attraction – that’s the sort of bigotry I just don’t understand.

  • Jessica

    I agree that bisexuals seem to be the most misunderstood and most targeted in any sexual identity community. And I agree with you that it’s really too bad since love is love and should be allowed to transcend the physical body (or sexual connotation). I love that you have written bisexual characters. I think if there is more exposure, there will be less judgement from all sides.